Mean Cat!

My cat is bringing out the worst in me.

She is not being very neighbourly with the cats which like to wander outside my window. And by that, I mean she flips shit and has even started to go so far as to gnaw on the window frame as an intimidation tactic. An intimidation tactic which I do not entire understand. It's like if, to convince me just how pissed someone was with me, they started, I don't know, kicking the shit out of a radiator outside of my dorm. Which may or may not have happened to me. And, in such a scenario, my point stands: it is not intimidating. These neighbourhood cats are sitting on the other side of the glass, like I sat in first year, laughing, impressed with their own ability to have such an affect on someone.

So, with feline peeping toms and tomasinas coming round my windows fairly regularly, She Ra has gotten a little sensitive. She is like someone on the edge of a nervous breakdown. She's like my mom when her arthritis used to get bad.
"Sydney. Did you just kick cat food under the dish washer? Why would you do something so ignorant?! Don't make that face at me! YOU'RE GROUNDED!"

and you're thinking is this her mom, or her cat, with the vested interest in the final resting place of cat kibbles, that she is quoting? God, what an absurd reason to be grounded for.

So, like an individual on the verge of a nervous breakdown, She Ra is quick to lose her temper without reason. Curled up in my arms purring one moment, jumping away and hissing the next.

And this, my friends, drives me crazy.

My cat hissing at me brings out some of the worst and weirdest qualities in me. I don't do anything I could be brought to criminal court over, don't worry, but I have developed absurd reactions to being hissed at. Normally when a strange cat on the street hisses at you, you jump away or withdraw your hand or whatever, and carry on your way: you assume you were in the wrong and leave the cat alone.

When She Ra, that obese feline for which I have been the lone caregiver of for three years, hisses at me I feel utterly indignant. I am Holden Caufield and she has scrawled fuck right across my front door.

Today I actually yelled - yelled! - "How DARE you?!"

At. My. Cat.

Insane reactions to being hissed at by my cat:

     "HEY! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

      Person hissing in response (which is not really effective, since it communicates all too well how pissed I am, prompting her to react more aggressively. But then I'm just impressed embarrassed to have communicated with her at all)

      Spraying water out of a glass using a straw, conveniently sitting on nightstand

      Going to the kitchen, filling a mug with water, dumping it on unappreciative cat, when convenient water glass is absent

      Nose flicking

      Rolling cat off bed

We both need to be medicated it would seem.