Online Overload

An ironic title? I mean, there have been no posts! What the fuck, right?

My apologies. As they so often are, my energies have been divided. I have been exploring other internet exploits.

Namely, the hilarious, if not alarming, world of plentyoffish.com.

I admit it to you, because you must know all.

It was a move motivated more by curiosity more than anything else. What can I say – those “meet sexy singles NOW!” ads that have been popping up alongside my illicit Law & Order episodes finally piqued my interest. And I know people who have used the site, so I figured I would see what it was all about.

This was something which I clearly did not think through in any sort of detail, of course. Do I want to ever actually meet up with strangers from the internet? Absolutely not. Do I even really want to talk to people from the internet who are going to hit on me without knowing me? That one turns out to be especially disheartening.  I had someone message me saying "You seem like a smart, funny girl, who shares my values." His values? "only interested in white women who only date white men. Those are just my values." Nice of you to use a display picture without your white hood in it - it really wouldn't show off those pretty blue eyes to your best advantage, I guess.

Ugh.

It is a sort of creepy world (read: my first contact was with a 44-year-old management professor, who I hope to God I never meet), one which I am not the least bit suited for. Because, despite what you may know about me, I try to be a nice person. Or, perhaps the more significant factor here is, I was never hit on a lot growing up. I only had two boyfriends in high school, and not a whole lot in between. I have never known how to handle myself under male attention. Especially unwanted attention. Usually, in bars, for instance, I just ignore people. But, on pletnyoffish, I mean, that’s the point, right? So how do you tell someone that they sound nice and all, but you really don’t want to meet lonely 30-year-old gingers in the real world?

But it does provide a nice ego boost. It’s horrible. I simultaneously feel awesome, receiving all these messages from strangers saying how awesome I seem (my word portrait was exquisite, to be fair) and yet so intensely superficial: “Ha, what were you thinking, 40-year-old finance guy?” “No picture? NO WAY!” “Come on, be serious now my unibrowed friend.” Yes, my inner dialogue is that inauthentic at times. But only when the internet is making me into a bad person.

I am going to have to part ways with it immediately.  Sorry world of internet dating – I am truly not ready for you.

Joe Jeans | Cigarette Cut | Lauren Wash | $174.00 CAD

On the less free and self-confidence boosting side of things, I did make my first ever internet clothing purchase! This world is probably more dangerous in the, my parents are going to get a 350.00$ bill for jeans I never tried on, but it feels all so much more satisfying. I am excited. Two pairs of Joe Jeans, cigarette cut, in both the Lauren and Tessa washes. Expensive? Yes. Worth it to avoid the excruciating experience of jean shopping? God I hope so. 

These babies are internet strangers I cannot wait to welcome into my home.

Maybe a real shopping trip soon though...