Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Reason Not to Live With Your Parents: #2

"You're not doing anything today, right?"

The question that does not get asked in my house. It is just the assumption made. Because if I don't have work and I haven't made plans with my friends then I must be available at their beck and call (and I should note here, only plans which my parents find valid are considered binding. Read; gym dates can be rearranged). Studying? Working out? Heaven forbid, blogging? These things are all irrelevant if one parent or the other thinks they have a legitimate claim to my time. My mother was actually irritated that my work schedule was such that I only had one full day to help her run errands this week. And I should emphasize that dropping my frivolous non-plans occurs based on if they think they have a legitimate claim to my time, not whether any rational person would.

Example a)
     After a weekend of 5:00 am wakeups, Monday afternoon rolls around and I take a much deserved nap. My mum calls, wakes me up, asks me to defrost fish. I go promptly back to sleep, and my cell phone becomes buried by my ample array of pillows. This is crucial here, because if you own an iphone, you will know that the slightest obstruction of the speaker muffles the ringer with astonishing efficacy. So when my dad calls, I don't answer. Until, of course, he's called three times, and I've managed to track down the source of the mysterious vibrations in my bed. He needs me to read him his Aeroplan card number, which was left on his dresser. And he's angry with me that I haven't made myself available so as to do this. "You answered when your mother called. Why the hell are you so tired anyway??"

Justifying my energy levels and sleeping habits because someone forgot something they needed and it lies within my immediate vicinity... not really my thing.

Only a parent would assume that your mere existence entitles them to your help. And I am not so thankless as to say that it doesn't - as far as I'm concerned, it has to be one of the greatest incentives to having children, the production of little future slaves. But it is the assumption that my plans are either non-existent, irrelevant or flexible if they are inconvenient to the aims of either parent. If I'm given a days notice that "Sydney, we need to do _____________ tomorrow," I will be slightly more amenable than when I'm told, mid-To Do-list-construction, that I am at the whim of whoever for the day. 

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