ChezeBurge

I cannot speak/read French. At all. I can't decide how much energy to put into remedying this. The lovely Claire, my date tonight in the city where everyone is on dates, told me that it is cute that I am embarrassed about not being able to speak French. I think that my lack of French leaves me sounding conspicuously like Bobcat Goldthwait, when the streets are full of the romance language, or at least the English of skinny little French girls with their adorable lilting accents.

On another note, I looked around in vain for my in-studio audience today.
Scene:
I, peeling apart some much needed wax strips (I am sure my brother's friends think I'm some weird gay hippie, scorning heteronormative grooming standards), bump a mug of coffee I had at one time been enjoying; choas ensues.
I put the wax strips down on the coffee-free part of my desk, and jump up to grab toilet paper to mop up with. Getting the bit that landed on my laptop first, I then realize that the coffee free part of the desk was, in fact, magazines and a library book, and rush to get them out of the path of the coffee. In doing so, I stick my thumb and fore finger right on top of the exposed wax strip. Accordingly, I throw the book and magazines across the room and rip the thing off my hand. The wax, obviously, sticks to my hand, rather than the strip. So I rush to the kitchen to wash off the wax (because you can't handle toiletpaper with wax hands!). After a few minutes of scrubbing, I remembered the coffee seeping under my lap top. Shit. Ran back to finish what I started. Picked up my laptop to mop underneath. Left wax on both sides of it.

This comical scene almost makes me feel better about the fact that my laptop sustained damage to certain keys (q, w, a, z, p, backspace AND delete - is that supposed to be some poetic comment on living a regret-free life? Because I would like to slap whoever divined that across their stupid face) as well as the mousepad. And I do miss the days when my laptop could start up without a continuous and nauseating beeping sound. Oh yeah, and apparently my lap top thirsts to spread the word of ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// whenever a text box is selected. I feel like the mom from the Exorcist. The patient is sitting upside down, unplugged, with his battery removed. Hopefully he recovers over night. I considered rinsing the coffee with water, but I think that would lead to a "Little Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly" scenario... I guess she'll die? Oh dear...