Valuable Lessons Learned in the Past 24 Hours:
1. Never EVER start drinking white wine straight out of the bottle at 2:30 am
2. Waking up alone in a bed covered in lipstick and pizza sauce, naked from the waist down does not phase me anymore
3. I sleepwalk when naked from the waist down
4. The right blend of vodka, mango juice and white wine will incite me to make a guest appearance for the other team
5. When drunk, I have a latent desire to learn how to knife fight.
6. Other beach patrons do not appreciate it when you take a single stride off the beach path to vomit
7. Will Smith is a God amongst mere mortals.
8. Hangovers impede my logic skills to the point that, despite 3 case studies that show unequivocally that I am not going to be able to digest food, I ate a slice of chocolate cheesecake before being driven home by a friend's dad
9. The worst time to find out your house has no hot water is when you are covered in your own cheesecake vomit
10. Yes, you can still be horrifically hungover at 11 pm
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