Promise, promise

I'm coming back to the blog.

I swear.

I promise.

Brace yourselves.

30 Day Challenge - Day 1

So

Stiff

So I am starting yet another 30 day challenge, this time at the Moksha studio in Calgary. My first time here, so it's kind of exciting. I plan on making the lisping, balding French instructor my new BFF.

But this challenge is a bit different aside from the new location. This time I'm going in, not having practised much lately. It's a bit zero-to-sixty of me. I have been a little yo-yo with my nutrition and exercise lately. My new job and it's schedule, which has me working when I should be eating (that's the nature of serving I guess), just has had me all over the map. I'm drained after work, my gym partner has just gone through the midterm ringer, and the responsibility of a menagerie at home (more on that in a future post, I promise) just has meant that I haven't been getting to the gym or studio lately, and that when I get home from work, not having eaten in 6 hours, I've been tending to overeat.

Whine, whine, whine, bitch, bitch, bitch. Basically what I'm saying is that I'm being inspired by Spartan Warrior's declaration that it's No-Excuses November, and I'm jumping in with both feet.

And today, I felt it. Gym this morning, followed so necessarily by yoga. Between no yoga, no gym, and walking about in 4 inch heels at work, my hamstrings are the worst they've been since I started practising yoga.

I'll let you know how walking goes tomorrow.

Reason Not to Live With Your Parents: #4

That Damn Computer

My parents use computers. They aren't relics of the 60s. Fuck - they both have iPads while I still slog on with a PC. But despite their acceptance of computer technology into the fold of their own lives, cancelling their newspaper subscription in favour of internet news sources, for instance, they still look on young peoples' dependence with disdain.

Ok, my computer dependence, in particular.

This is really an extension of Reason #2 - I can spend your time better. My parents labour under the assumption that, if I'm sitting at my laptop, I'm not really doing anything. Particularly when contrasted with my younger brother, also living at home, who spends very little time on the computer, my parents just can't see why I return to my computer whenever I have a free instant. I can't possibly be doing anything important. Having seen me waste my youth on ICQ, webpages of dancing hamsters and dead stickmen, and that animated rabbit that chased your mouse, they just assumed the internet continues to be a way I procrastinate doing useful things.  And, let's be honest, it's not an entirely groundless assumption.

But, accepting all the ways that Facebook or Twitter are used for inane, time-filling purposes, even those sites serve practical purposes. Facebook, after all, started as a networking site, and I hardly use it for anything other than staying in touch with long-distance friends. I have most recently been chatting with other law school hopefuls, some of whom I haven't otherwise spoken to for years. And for every Proenza Schouler or ManRepeller tweet I check out, I read a New Yorker article.

And these are pure "time wasting" websites - let's not forget the pure pragmatic purposes I put my computer to. Online banking, checking my work schedule, and online law school applications all require a fair amount of time on this little machine. And they are essential chores which can be accomplished no other way. 

Then again, I have been playing the Sims. Oh for shame.

Reason Not to Live With Your Parents: # 3

"So, what exactly happens if you don't do well on your LSATs?"


"Uh, well mum, I don't get into Law School. And I continue waitressing and living at home with you and dad and my cat until my wounded pride heals enough for me to write them again and Reapply."

No one can doubt your abilities and throw your future into a shadowy abyss quite like your parents can.

Reason Not to Live With Your Parents: #2

"You're not doing anything today, right?"

The question that does not get asked in my house. It is just the assumption made. Because if I don't have work and I haven't made plans with my friends then I must be available at their beck and call (and I should note here, only plans which my parents find valid are considered binding. Read; gym dates can be rearranged). Studying? Working out? Heaven forbid, blogging? These things are all irrelevant if one parent or the other thinks they have a legitimate claim to my time. My mother was actually irritated that my work schedule was such that I only had one full day to help her run errands this week. And I should emphasize that dropping my frivolous non-plans occurs based on if they think they have a legitimate claim to my time, not whether any rational person would.

Example a)
     After a weekend of 5:00 am wakeups, Monday afternoon rolls around and I take a much deserved nap. My mum calls, wakes me up, asks me to defrost fish. I go promptly back to sleep, and my cell phone becomes buried by my ample array of pillows. This is crucial here, because if you own an iphone, you will know that the slightest obstruction of the speaker muffles the ringer with astonishing efficacy. So when my dad calls, I don't answer. Until, of course, he's called three times, and I've managed to track down the source of the mysterious vibrations in my bed. He needs me to read him his Aeroplan card number, which was left on his dresser. And he's angry with me that I haven't made myself available so as to do this. "You answered when your mother called. Why the hell are you so tired anyway??"

Justifying my energy levels and sleeping habits because someone forgot something they needed and it lies within my immediate vicinity... not really my thing.

Only a parent would assume that your mere existence entitles them to your help. And I am not so thankless as to say that it doesn't - as far as I'm concerned, it has to be one of the greatest incentives to having children, the production of little future slaves. But it is the assumption that my plans are either non-existent, irrelevant or flexible if they are inconvenient to the aims of either parent. If I'm given a days notice that "Sydney, we need to do _____________ tomorrow," I will be slightly more amenable than when I'm told, mid-To Do-list-construction, that I am at the whim of whoever for the day. 

Falling for Autumn Ensembles

I've been really MIA lately. I know. I have been lsat cramming and training for my new job. And with a new blog which has a slightly wider appeal, I am feeling like this blog is even more aimless. But rather than give up, I think the answer is more pretty pictures. Right?

So do you know what a new job and a determination to put up some more pretty pictures results in? More "I want" albums. Because what is prettier than clothing? Clothing that I could, possibly own. And I think fashion blogs the Northern Hemisphere round have been lusting for fall outfit opportunities. Fall in Alberta, while not as visually stunning as autumn out East - our trees don't turn red here, just yellow and brown - is beautifully temperate. Ok, ok - that sounds lame. But it means that it doesn't pour, and it isn't so humid that you go from too hot to too cold like it did in Montreal.

not entirely deprived of beauty though, right?

I also find that Alberta does have a certain charm this time of year. Maybe it's because I was raised with Golden Retrievers, and Golden Retrievers are always most charming in fall...

so charming, right?

 But my aim is not to convince you Fall is the best. It just is, dignified old dogs or not. I am here to share with you my dream Autumn outfit. After a tempting trip to Holt Renfrew and a thorough perusal of ShopBop, I bring you what I intend to buy with my first three pay checks.

Falling for Autumn Ensembles by sydneyrobyn featuring boyfriend jeans

EQUIPMENT silk blouse, £230
3 1 Phillip Lim long cardigan, $795
True Religion boyfriend jeans, $490
Rag & Bone leather boots, $490
Kate Spade leather shoulder bag, $445
Rag Bone fedora hat, $150
Etro Silk Bow Tie Purple One Size, $110

 Ok. So this outfit would cost me approximately 3'000.00$. Give or take. Divide by minimum wage, carry the nth... It will be February before I don this ensem...

Diet Shame

Team! It's been forever! How are you? Awesome. Me? Oh I've been busy, you know. Ok - small talk aside, I've really been trying to identify what exactly it is about Calgary that saps my desire to post. I think I'm growing increasingly accustomed to a life of mediocrity - my nights have consisted of watching my parents' appalling television choices and tucking myself into bed with an audiobook by 10:30. Last night we ate chocolates and had a glass of wine, making it the most exciting night I've had in about two weeks. I am determined, however, to not be ok with this. While a cozy night in is, honestly, great most of the time, I would like to actually have plans. And I haven't. Or have, and bailed, because leaving my suburban cocoon just sometimes takes more effort that I feel willing to expend.

Project "Fun Calgary" will commence next week. Why next week? Because I start making money next week. Ye haw Calgary, ye haw.


Ok, so none of this has to do with diets, though shame of my premature middle age is hopefully apparent. Another reason I haven't been posting is because I've been really back and forth in my mind about whether I wanted to admit to the blogosphere what I am going to admit to you right now: I am on a diet. And I don't just mean casually watching my calories or trying to eat healthier - when I'm doing that, I say that. I'm on a honest to goodness, book-written-by-doctor type diet. I didn't buy this book, by the way, nor would the diet have been something I would have done on my own accord - it is a by-product of living with my mum, but I'm doing it, baby.

So, I'm not actually going to get into the diet - the 17 Day diet (a total misnomer, by the by) - at this particular junction. I am more curious about the fact that I debated even mentioning it. Intrigued by the fact that, when it comes up in conversation, which it somehow, inevitably and painfully always does, I always try to pass it off as something I'm doing in solidarity with my parents, rather than something I started before, and have continued to do more faithfully, than either.

It is exactly that difference between "watching what I eat" or "eating a bit more healthy" and being "on a diet." If you follow fitness blogs they will almost all abhor diets; their authors' insist that they just eat a healthy, balanced diet and, my least favourite phrase ever, "just listen to what their body needs." My body insists that it needs a sugar boost after every meal. It insists that sugar be in the form of chocolate. My mind-body connection is not so hot - my mind is a dictator who likes chocolates and dislikes my pathetic, complaining knees. I don't know that I'm all that unique in that regard though - how many people do you honestly know who can say "my body just really wanted something green" or "I just needed some protein," who aren't utterly full of bullshit? My mind tells my body those things using logic and research: "Yo body, you will get scurvy if you don't put spinach in you" or "You just worked out - protein builds muscle - eat it." Before my inner monologue totally derails me from my point here, I will make it; to admit that you are on a diet points to a flaw in your will power. You can't just intuitively do something good for you, it has to be dictated and formulaic. And this paints you as a weak person. But following a clear set of guidelines is what I need. And the same goes for a lot of people. Because, guess what, a lot of people are overweight. Most people, in fact. I'm not even overweight, but my impulse control is negligible unless I can give myself a very concrete reason why refusing one more chocolate or a glass of wine will make a difference. And a diet does just that.

Despite the fact that most people have a hard time making the right choices when it comes to nutrition, and particularly weight loss, there is some very bad vibes that get directed at those who take the route of a prescribed diet. Yeah, it is a consumerist thing, making doctors richer for writing books full of things that should be mostly common sense, blah, blah, communism, blah. I get that. But why do people always give you a look like, "Oh...?" as though your diet is actually a second head growing out of your armpit? I like to tell myself that it makes them re-evaluate their own dietary choices and feel insecure, but I really don't think that's it. That's just what people on diets tell themselves: "they're just jealous because I'm doing something about my weight." Uh, no - they're eating cake and ribs. They are not jealous of your baked chicken breast, wilted spinach and soda water. It's because they've suddenly realized that your are vain and insecure and don't have a) the strength to change things for yourself without a book or support system holding your hand or b) you aren't imaginative enough to come up with an excuse that doesn't open you up to such scrutiny. "Oh, yeah, I'm not drinking beer right now because I've been casking my own Irish whisky all day and I'm basically drunk already," or "you know, I heard that they found a human heart at the Lilydale factory in Glenridge" would be responses that would certainly debunk judgment much more effectively than "oh, I'm on this diet."
 
But guess what else - diets can work! Most diets today come with weening phases where they admit "yeah, we've changed what foods you can and can't eat, but by doing so we've also changed the foods you crave and the way you approach your meals." Which is really just a long road to getting to the "I just eat a healthy, balanced diet," phase which elicits no societal sneer. I have been on this bad boy diet for 20 days, and I have lost an inch and half from my waist and weigh less than I ever have in my adult life. So when I tell you I'm on a diet, it is not an invitation for you to comment on my weight or evaluate my body perception. If I tell you I'm not having a beer because I'm on a diet, I don't want to hear "You don't need to be on a diet! You're crazy!" Shut up. I'm on a diet because I have goals, man! And those goal include looking really sexy while I still am at an age where that is relatively easy to accomplish.

So viva the diet - haters, go hate elsewhere. With fries if you like. They look tasty.