Back At Last

I'm Awful.

The Absolute Worst.

Or rather, that's how I've been feeling lately. Vis-a-vis blogging, yes. Certainly. I haven't really taken the time to write a post since I started working in October. This is really one of my lone creative outlets, and I haven't been taking the time, which makes me feel cruddy. I drive to work, thinking of topics to explore, things I want to say, and then after a day spent being fake and servile I can't bring myself to do much more than lie in the fetal position on my couch until I go upstairs and lie in the fetal position in my bed. Worst blogger ever!

But that is just one symptom of an overarching feeling of uselessness I have been feeling lately. Whoa - heavy right? Sorry dude. This is what happens when a dedicated academic finds herself out in the workforce. I have been so used to channelling my energy towards mental endeavours, and I find it shocking how exhausting it is shifting gears. I thought I was so brilliantly balanced this time last year - I was doing yoga, the gym, dinners out with friends, working, and developing my thesis. And blogging! And now I feel like all I have energy for is work.

I'm not actually here to subject you to the petulant whining of an upper middle class brat having to work for her livelihood for the first time. That's lame. So why explain that the blogging-absence is just one of many symptoms of my current ennui? Well, because I love, and you will know this about me already if you read this blog ever, I love resolutions. I love setting aims and goals. I loooooove checking off things from a well composed To Do list. I put things like "shower" and "drive to work" on my list so that I can have the satisfaction of scratching them off. I make meta lists; lists for things to accomplish tomorrow, this week, this month. I love lists.

So rather than sulk another moment, I am taking this opportunity, and New Year after all, and I am turning over a new leaf. And I'm very excited about it.

More on some of these resolutions to come, but for now, suffice it to say that you will be hearing from me before the week is out. And that, my friend's, is resolution One.

Promise, promise

I'm coming back to the blog.

I swear.

I promise.

Brace yourselves.

30 Day Challenge - Day 1

So

Stiff

So I am starting yet another 30 day challenge, this time at the Moksha studio in Calgary. My first time here, so it's kind of exciting. I plan on making the lisping, balding French instructor my new BFF.

But this challenge is a bit different aside from the new location. This time I'm going in, not having practised much lately. It's a bit zero-to-sixty of me. I have been a little yo-yo with my nutrition and exercise lately. My new job and it's schedule, which has me working when I should be eating (that's the nature of serving I guess), just has had me all over the map. I'm drained after work, my gym partner has just gone through the midterm ringer, and the responsibility of a menagerie at home (more on that in a future post, I promise) just has meant that I haven't been getting to the gym or studio lately, and that when I get home from work, not having eaten in 6 hours, I've been tending to overeat.

Whine, whine, whine, bitch, bitch, bitch. Basically what I'm saying is that I'm being inspired by Spartan Warrior's declaration that it's No-Excuses November, and I'm jumping in with both feet.

And today, I felt it. Gym this morning, followed so necessarily by yoga. Between no yoga, no gym, and walking about in 4 inch heels at work, my hamstrings are the worst they've been since I started practising yoga.

I'll let you know how walking goes tomorrow.

Reason Not to Live With Your Parents: #4

That Damn Computer

My parents use computers. They aren't relics of the 60s. Fuck - they both have iPads while I still slog on with a PC. But despite their acceptance of computer technology into the fold of their own lives, cancelling their newspaper subscription in favour of internet news sources, for instance, they still look on young peoples' dependence with disdain.

Ok, my computer dependence, in particular.

This is really an extension of Reason #2 - I can spend your time better. My parents labour under the assumption that, if I'm sitting at my laptop, I'm not really doing anything. Particularly when contrasted with my younger brother, also living at home, who spends very little time on the computer, my parents just can't see why I return to my computer whenever I have a free instant. I can't possibly be doing anything important. Having seen me waste my youth on ICQ, webpages of dancing hamsters and dead stickmen, and that animated rabbit that chased your mouse, they just assumed the internet continues to be a way I procrastinate doing useful things.  And, let's be honest, it's not an entirely groundless assumption.

But, accepting all the ways that Facebook or Twitter are used for inane, time-filling purposes, even those sites serve practical purposes. Facebook, after all, started as a networking site, and I hardly use it for anything other than staying in touch with long-distance friends. I have most recently been chatting with other law school hopefuls, some of whom I haven't otherwise spoken to for years. And for every Proenza Schouler or ManRepeller tweet I check out, I read a New Yorker article.

And these are pure "time wasting" websites - let's not forget the pure pragmatic purposes I put my computer to. Online banking, checking my work schedule, and online law school applications all require a fair amount of time on this little machine. And they are essential chores which can be accomplished no other way. 

Then again, I have been playing the Sims. Oh for shame.

Reason Not to Live With Your Parents: # 3

"So, what exactly happens if you don't do well on your LSATs?"


"Uh, well mum, I don't get into Law School. And I continue waitressing and living at home with you and dad and my cat until my wounded pride heals enough for me to write them again and Reapply."

No one can doubt your abilities and throw your future into a shadowy abyss quite like your parents can.

Reason Not to Live With Your Parents: #2

"You're not doing anything today, right?"

The question that does not get asked in my house. It is just the assumption made. Because if I don't have work and I haven't made plans with my friends then I must be available at their beck and call (and I should note here, only plans which my parents find valid are considered binding. Read; gym dates can be rearranged). Studying? Working out? Heaven forbid, blogging? These things are all irrelevant if one parent or the other thinks they have a legitimate claim to my time. My mother was actually irritated that my work schedule was such that I only had one full day to help her run errands this week. And I should emphasize that dropping my frivolous non-plans occurs based on if they think they have a legitimate claim to my time, not whether any rational person would.

Example a)
     After a weekend of 5:00 am wakeups, Monday afternoon rolls around and I take a much deserved nap. My mum calls, wakes me up, asks me to defrost fish. I go promptly back to sleep, and my cell phone becomes buried by my ample array of pillows. This is crucial here, because if you own an iphone, you will know that the slightest obstruction of the speaker muffles the ringer with astonishing efficacy. So when my dad calls, I don't answer. Until, of course, he's called three times, and I've managed to track down the source of the mysterious vibrations in my bed. He needs me to read him his Aeroplan card number, which was left on his dresser. And he's angry with me that I haven't made myself available so as to do this. "You answered when your mother called. Why the hell are you so tired anyway??"

Justifying my energy levels and sleeping habits because someone forgot something they needed and it lies within my immediate vicinity... not really my thing.

Only a parent would assume that your mere existence entitles them to your help. And I am not so thankless as to say that it doesn't - as far as I'm concerned, it has to be one of the greatest incentives to having children, the production of little future slaves. But it is the assumption that my plans are either non-existent, irrelevant or flexible if they are inconvenient to the aims of either parent. If I'm given a days notice that "Sydney, we need to do _____________ tomorrow," I will be slightly more amenable than when I'm told, mid-To Do-list-construction, that I am at the whim of whoever for the day. 

Falling for Autumn Ensembles

I've been really MIA lately. I know. I have been lsat cramming and training for my new job. And with a new blog which has a slightly wider appeal, I am feeling like this blog is even more aimless. But rather than give up, I think the answer is more pretty pictures. Right?

So do you know what a new job and a determination to put up some more pretty pictures results in? More "I want" albums. Because what is prettier than clothing? Clothing that I could, possibly own. And I think fashion blogs the Northern Hemisphere round have been lusting for fall outfit opportunities. Fall in Alberta, while not as visually stunning as autumn out East - our trees don't turn red here, just yellow and brown - is beautifully temperate. Ok, ok - that sounds lame. But it means that it doesn't pour, and it isn't so humid that you go from too hot to too cold like it did in Montreal.

not entirely deprived of beauty though, right?

I also find that Alberta does have a certain charm this time of year. Maybe it's because I was raised with Golden Retrievers, and Golden Retrievers are always most charming in fall...

so charming, right?

 But my aim is not to convince you Fall is the best. It just is, dignified old dogs or not. I am here to share with you my dream Autumn outfit. After a tempting trip to Holt Renfrew and a thorough perusal of ShopBop, I bring you what I intend to buy with my first three pay checks.

Falling for Autumn Ensembles by sydneyrobyn featuring boyfriend jeans

EQUIPMENT silk blouse, £230
3 1 Phillip Lim long cardigan, $795
True Religion boyfriend jeans, $490
Rag & Bone leather boots, $490
Kate Spade leather shoulder bag, $445
Rag Bone fedora hat, $150
Etro Silk Bow Tie Purple One Size, $110

 Ok. So this outfit would cost me approximately 3'000.00$. Give or take. Divide by minimum wage, carry the nth... It will be February before I don this ensem...