Back At Last

I'm Awful.

The Absolute Worst.

Or rather, that's how I've been feeling lately. Vis-a-vis blogging, yes. Certainly. I haven't really taken the time to write a post since I started working in October. This is really one of my lone creative outlets, and I haven't been taking the time, which makes me feel cruddy. I drive to work, thinking of topics to explore, things I want to say, and then after a day spent being fake and servile I can't bring myself to do much more than lie in the fetal position on my couch until I go upstairs and lie in the fetal position in my bed. Worst blogger ever!

But that is just one symptom of an overarching feeling of uselessness I have been feeling lately. Whoa - heavy right? Sorry dude. This is what happens when a dedicated academic finds herself out in the workforce. I have been so used to channelling my energy towards mental endeavours, and I find it shocking how exhausting it is shifting gears. I thought I was so brilliantly balanced this time last year - I was doing yoga, the gym, dinners out with friends, working, and developing my thesis. And blogging! And now I feel like all I have energy for is work.

I'm not actually here to subject you to the petulant whining of an upper middle class brat having to work for her livelihood for the first time. That's lame. So why explain that the blogging-absence is just one of many symptoms of my current ennui? Well, because I love, and you will know this about me already if you read this blog ever, I love resolutions. I love setting aims and goals. I loooooove checking off things from a well composed To Do list. I put things like "shower" and "drive to work" on my list so that I can have the satisfaction of scratching them off. I make meta lists; lists for things to accomplish tomorrow, this week, this month. I love lists.

So rather than sulk another moment, I am taking this opportunity, and New Year after all, and I am turning over a new leaf. And I'm very excited about it.

More on some of these resolutions to come, but for now, suffice it to say that you will be hearing from me before the week is out. And that, my friend's, is resolution One.