"don't eat this brownie all at once."
Uh, no, guy at the coffee shop. I don't want your advise. And I could do with a little less judgement, ok? Maybe I just have a heartier constitution than you do, and can digest more efficiently. And maybe I have an addiction to sweets, and you can kiss my ass.
So, I promptly went home and ate the whole brownie. And yes, I do feel a little sick. What's more, it wasn't the only shameful decision I made today.
The spider turf war has come to a rather cowardly end. My emotional and moral investment in this respect for life had escaped the bounds of reason. Every time I showered, I would glance nervously into the corner to see what sort of progress Charlotte had made, and the larger the web got, proportionately with how much bigger she got, and the more friends she acquired, the more I had to convince myself of the evils of gentrification and the benefits of tolerance. Well tolerance went out the window today when Charlotte decided to make the mission out of the bathroom, across my kitchen and up onto my bed. I screamed, jumped up, and yelled at her for being so unappreciative. No, not joking. I couldn't bring myself to squish her though. So I do what ever any guilty self conscious general would do - send in vociferous and merciless troops to do my job for me.
Long story short, She Ra ate Charlotte and my bathroom is mine again.
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