The New Love of my Life

Again, fret not - this love is certainly not a strapping young Calgarian boy who has swept me off my feet. No no - though I bet she could perform just that feat. Literally.

I'm in love with Tracy Anderson.

digitally.

And while the rare, eccentric few some of you may be humming the strains of 'N Sync's single-that-wasn't Digital Get Down, but it's not like that [that being "digital, digital get down - just you and me. You may be  Twenty thousand miles away but I can see ya, and baby, baby you can see me," should you not be acquainted with this Aught-pop seminal classic]. I am in love with Tracy Anderson, personal trainer to the stars, and her workout webisodes.

So I have obviously been down in the dumps lately about my knee. I have constrained myself to the bike and eliptical, I have taken a pass on the injury inducing culprit, yoga, and my chances of performing worth a damn in my upcoming race has taken a severe hit, and accordingly, so has my self esteem. So I've been looking for some fitness solace. And it came to me in the weirdly-disproportionate-yet-angelic form of Tracy Anderson.

My friend K had purchased the trainer's rather pricey (and very intense!) Metamorphosis program - it consists of a cardio-dance DVD (which after one attempt I staunchly refused to ever do again), a nutrition plan, and 9 workouts of increasing difficulty that should carry you through 90 days of work outs (you take off one day for every ten). K brought it down with us to my cabin and we gave to it the old college try. And holy shit. For a workout DVD, it was fucking hard. I actually felt incompetent and ill-equipped to own legs. So with a sense of my own mortality, I trolled the internet for any online work out vids from Tracy. And lo and behold, there are some. They aren't as tough as the DVD, naturally (chick's gotta make a profit, yo), but they are very worth doing. Doing either the 9-minute ab video or the 16-minute butt one leaves me dripping sweat. Dripping I say!

So check her out. Her method is to attack the smaller muscle groups to try to tighten where ever it is you believe you need tightening. So expect it to feel weird and to burn (but on the plus side, because they aren't muscles you use that much, you wont be all that sore the next day).


And before I leave you to the clutches of Ms Anderson, I want to give a big thanks for the support I've had for the newly emancipated Sexual Cynic blog. A blog with a consistent theme and humorous content? Who'd have thought that would go over well? Maybe some day soon I will get to hang out with the Man Repeller, ostracized by alpha males who we'd openly mock the bedroom prowess of anyhow.