...Bernard Pivot."
If you have no idea who that is, you clearly did not spend a wildly unproductive Sunday watching the final clips from various Inside the Actors' Studio interviews.
If you do not have a fondness for Bravo's Drama in the Afternoon - when I'm home in Calgary I like to wake up in time for back to back episodes of Law & Order and Without a Trace, watched from the [dis]comfort of the eliptical - you may only know of Inside the Actor's Studio from Will Ferrell's charming imitation of host James Lipton on Saturday Night Live. It gave us the word "scrumtrellescent." For that, and very little else, I thank you, Will Ferrell.
Inside the Actors' Studio is hosted by this guy:
James Lipton does, in fact, always end his celebrity interviews with a series of questions that were apparently originally conceived of by
When you watch a ton of people answer this same set of questions, it is only a matter of time - and in my case, probably a surprisingly immense amount of time - before you start drafting your own answers. Seriously, I watched about 6 celebrities in a row say they would like to be a composer/singer/musician before I thought "LAME! I would do better!"
Not to rag on them too badly though - here are some of my favourite answers I stumbled across
What is your favourite word? "Delicatessen" "Jack MacFarlan"/Sean Hayes (answering as Jack) or "verdurous," Daniel Radcliffe (I know, right?)
What is your least favourite word? "Spelunkers," Robert Downy Jr or "Flabbergasted," Ralph Fiennes
What turns you on? "Everything" Al Pacino or "Watching my dogs play," Kevin Spacey
What turns you off? "The dentist drill," Hugh Jackman, "Not breathing," Johnny Depp or "Financial advice," Hugh Laurie
What sound or noise to you love? "The sound of a can of tennis balls being opened," Jason Bateman, "The sound of the accoustic guitar being played badly," Hugh Laurie
What sound or noise do you hate? "When your nose whistles," Michael J Fox, "That noise when you've got a pencil and you're writing with a pencil and the end breaks off but you still find yourself dragging the pencil across the paper for a little bit..." Daniel Radcliffe
What is your favourite curse word? "This is unprecendented; it's 7 syllabals. It's 'sonofacuntlovingwhore,'" Robert Downey Jr, "fucking fuck and all it's fucking cognates," Hugh Laurie, "fuck. Or. Rat bastard," Spacey "You...dentist!" Sean Penn
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? "I would like to be an astronaut," Salma Hayek, "a neurologist or a theoretical physicist" Robin Williams
What profession would you not like to participate in? "a job in the French court, apparently it's a good job, but wiping the king's ass," thank you, Matt Damon
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "You know I've got a son I'd like to set you up with," Eric McCormack answering as "Will Truman," or "Aw, you make me smile," Salma Hayek (because she does, she just DOES). Oh, and because it is ridiculous, "Your brother's over there, and the girls are over there" Mickey Rourke.
And MY answers? Funny you should ask...
What is your favourite word?
Oubliette
What is your least favourite word?
Clot
What turns you on?
Having someone rub their hand up and down the entire length of my back
What turns you off?
Lack of ambition
What sound or noise to you love?
The sound of my cat licking her paws
What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound when you have cardboard or metal in a freezer and it rubs up against the ice build up and screeches.
What is your favourite curse word?
Cock
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
well, actor, but otherwise a zookeeper
What profession would you not like to participate in?
a Chick Sexer. In large farming operations, there is a person who is responsible for determining the sex of newly hatched chicks, which apparently is rather difficult. Chicken pedophile.
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You know Dante made that shit up, right?
No comments:
Post a Comment