Saturday, February 19, 2011

"I Spoke Too Soon," or "The Horrifying Things That Happened Trying to Get to Belize"

From the mundane annoyances to the "Heads will fucking roll! Greyhound bus style" (and, to be clear, this I actually did text...back when I had a phone...more on that later...)

Wednesday Evening - my parents inform me that, to be safe, I really need to leave for the airport no later than 3:30, which really conflicted with the 2 hour wax I had booked for 2:15. Hard choice...

Friday, 3:40 - I managed to reorganize my appointments and make it out of the house in time to prove how sage my parents are: a huge traffic jam on the highway to the airport had some people stuck in traffic for 2 hours. My cabbie managed to cut that time in half by cutting through residential areas, though this left with me with the distinct impression that I was being abducted

Friday, 9:00 - Captain announces that we are going to be getting into DC a little later than scheduled: my 40 minute connection time has been cut down to 10 minutes by his estimated arrival time...

Friday, 9:50 - Emerge into the Washington airport. Flight departs in 5 minutes. It's in another terminal. I sprint in the hopes that they are holding it for me

Friday, 10:05 -They weren't. Go get in line at United's customer service behind 12 other people.

Friday, 10:30 - My flights for the next day are rearranged - I wont make my original flight to Belize, but there is one leaving that afternoon and I am booked on that instead, getting me in 4 hours later than originally. But no, because it was Air Canada's fuck up, they couldn't issue me a hotel voucher. Go back to the other terminal.

Friday, 11:00 - There are 30 other stranded people in front of me in line.

Friday, 11:20 - A stroke of luck! I get the last voucher for a Sheraton hotel room.

Saturday, 6:20 - I wisely opted to take the 6:30, rather than the 7:00 am shuttle that had been my original plan. Call Cam to make sure he'll make his flight.

Saturday, 6:45 - Wait in line line at United to get my boarding passes and check that my bag will be on the plane. I'm told that I have actually been switched to fly out on Continental, and need to go to the other end of the check-in to get my boarding pass there. And no, they can't access Air Canada's database to see where my bag is.

Saturday 7:05 - Have my boarding passes, but my flight boards in 40 minutes and I still need to go through security and change terminals. The line at security takes forever. I get chosen for the naked scanner. I leave a water bottle in my purse which requires my carry-ons to be thoroughly checked.

Saturday, 7:15 - on the train to my terminal. Where's my phone?

Saturday, 7:18 - sitting on the shuttle, it would seem.

Saturday, 7:30 - the lady at Dunkin Donuts will not give me cash back for my food voucher (which I only use 6 of 15 dollars) in the form of 2$ worth of quarters, which I need as the pay phones will not accept Canadian quarters (which are equivalent currency!!!!)

Saturday, 8:10 - Check at the flight desk. No, my checked baggage is not on the plane yet. But she's sure it will be fine. There's nothing I can do.

Saturday, 8:15 - on the plane, and you need to pay to watch anything on the TVs during a 3.5 hour flight

Saturday, 8:30 - flight is delayed. Possible engine trouble...

Saturday, 8:40 - I check to see if the delay will affect my connection. Departing Houston at 9:20? How many time zones over is Houston from D.C.?

Saturday, 8:43 - Dig out old itinerary. One time zone between Houston and D.C... 3.5 hour flight...

Saturday, 8:44 - Holy fuck - they checked me in on my originally flight out of Houston which, even without the engines falling the shambles, I would never have been able to make...

Saturday, 9:00 - I choose to ignore this for 15 minutes because, really, fuck, what's the point. But at length I inform a flight attendant. "What were they thinking?? Give me a second..."

Saturday, 9:03 - I can get off the plane now, but they have sorted out the mechanical difficulties and are about to close the doors. I'll stay...

Saturday, 9:15 - extreme winds have closed all but one runway, and there are some emergency landings that need to take place before we can take off

Saturday, 9:35 - emergency landing is in, "but there are 15 or 16 aircrafts before us, so we will be on the ground for a while..."

Saturday, 10:05 - survived the turbulence - now to enjoy my middle seat between two well-sized middle aged me who both like using 2 arm rests.

Saturday, 12:10 (Houston) - put on standby for the flight I should have been checked in on this morning...

Saturday, 1:30 - name called! Thank God! I literally scream that as I run up. One sec, the girl tells me, and goes and talks to a couple who said they would volunteer to depart at a later date. There is room for both of them on the flight, but if they opt to give it up to me, they forfeit the 600$ voucher they were promised for volunteering. Not a chance. "I'm sorry, no room on here for you"

Saturday, 2:00 - I am going to San Salvador tonight, over nighting there, and flying to Belize tomorrow morning. I just need to recheck my bag.

Saturday, 2:30 - bag is in Washington. It will get into Belize 2 hours after I do tomorrow

Saturday, 3:15 - I desperately search for replacement footwear - It was knee-high rain boot appropriate weather in Montreal! The only place available is a Crocs stand. My feet continue to sweat away in my Hunters... 

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